Grand Sumo
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Ok, I admit it, I think sumo is cool. I think that it is one of the greatest spectator sports ever designed. I am a slave to sumo broadcasts. People who don't understand the glorious nature of sumo see only two grossly swollen men with breasts (also called “man-boobies”, except not in Japanese) clawing and pawing at each other's snug fitting undergarments. The whole spectacle may seem unsavory to witness, to say the least.
But there is so much more to sumo, and the watching of sumo as well has a certain unmistakable flavor to it. People find baseball too slow to watch, what with the guys standing around, spitting, adjusting their jockstraps, touching their hats, conferencing on the mound, wiping sweat away, swinging their arms around for no apparent reason, and stretching out in front of the dugout. Other people find American football too violent and pointless. Guys standing around in a huddle, touching each other's bottoms at times, staring pointlessly at the other guy across the line of scrimmage, only to suddenly hike the ball and smash their bodies into the guys on the other team.
In sumo, however, you get the best of both worlds. Guys stand around. They adjust their “mawashi” (also called “silk thong diaper”, just not in Japanese). They swing their arms (and legs) about in pointless ceremonial circles. They stare at each other. They spit. They wipe sweat out of their armpits and then smear it across their faces. Then suddenly they attack each other and in nano-seconds it is all over. Now that is what I call GREAT sports viewing. Then if there is a close call a bunch of ex-sumo guys waddle up on the “dohyo” (also called “flat pitcher's mound”, except not in Japanese) to discuss what the guys in the TV camera booth really saw (and transmit down to them via radio link) so they can pronounce a well-informed and unified opinion as to who really won the match.
This book takes all the glamour, all the intricacies, all the culture, vocabulary, organizational charts, clothing, ritual, ceremony, history, rules, and customs of the sumo world and presents it to readers in an extremely well-organized and fun cartoony way. All the pictures are drawn in comic book style with absolutely tons of information about sumo, how it is organized and conducted, as well as describing how sumo wrestlers live, in a very fun and educational way. For sumo fans it is really excellent reading and remarkably informative.
After reading this book, and watching sumo on television you will know the differences between a “tsukami-nage” and a “watashi-komi”, you will be able to yell out the results with the NHK announcers in Japanese. “Uwate-dashi-nage!” you may cry. “Komata-sukui!” you may declare. Friends may start shrinking away from you as your newly found sumo-nerd-dom may develop. But never fear, despite having been ridiculed for years by people in high school that you were not a hockey fan and never once even cheered for the Edmonton Oilers, you can now show them who's who by knowing more than they will ever dream about in terms of sumo wrestler eating, feeding, and bathing habits.
Great book. Lots of fun. Read this one with David Benjamin's “Joy of Sumo” and you will be well equipped, along with a six pack of Kirin Lager, to enjoy a new sport, and understand a new cultural expression of how men can knock heads together.
Mark Groenewold
December, 2003
This page is Copyright © 2004 Mark Groenewold
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