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| Two Karate Dudes |
Karate is a huge waste of time. What's the matter with you anyway? You get home from work, see your family and kids for a little while and then abandon them to go out at night to wear pajamas with a bunch of other losers punching and kicking the air while yelling your lungs out. You must be sick.
Karate makes you an anti-social outcast. Why aren't you at home with your family right now? Why aren't you spending time with little Billy and his math problems? Why aren't you changing the oil in your car? Why aren't you home reading a good book? Why aren't you reading stories to little Sally on the sofa? Why aren't you talking to your wife or girlfriend right now? You must be some kind of selfish bastard. It's no wonder you don't have any real friends.
Karate is full of political crap, and the more you get involved in it the more dirty you are going to be. You must be some kind of demented freak to get tied up in the political machinations of those Japanese karate guys who moved to America decades ago. They are fleecing you for your cash, abusing your trust, and taking you for a ride, while laughing with their Japanese buddies all the way to the bank. You must be some kind of sucker.
Karate is rotten exercise. You won't get nice and thin. You won't lose the weight that you would if you just went jogging a few times a week. You are probably training under a local karate chieftain who doesn't really know much about how the body works. Don't be too surprised when you wreck your knees, maybe wreck them for good. Karate also attracts guys who want to be tough, guys who want to stomp other people, and kick ass. Don't be too surprised that you might need stitches at some time in the future, maybe some serious dental work, or even nose surgery.
Karate is full of lies. These guys spout off about perfection of character and then yank you around. Karate teachers talk tough and strut around like they are modern samurai. What a bunch of crap. What nonsense. They have no idea what they are talking about, make you feel a little weird being around them, and have an odd glazed-over look in their eyes. You must be some kind of psychological weakling. At the very least, you must be the kind of person people in high school called, “nerd”, “freak”, “geek”, or “loser”. The fact that you are buying into all the lies about karate makes you even more of a nerd, freak, geek, and loser. It's a wonder whether or not you will ever get a real life. You must be some real putz to buy into all this karate crap.
Are you still around?
What's the matter with you? I just told you all the reasons why karate sucks and you are still here? Are you some kind of masochist? Some kind of glutton for punishment? Are you some kind of weird sicko?
Well, yeah maybe some of what I just wrote was a little “tongue-in-cheek”. But there is some truth in that stuff I just wrote too.
It is true that you should spend enough time with your friends and family who don't do karate. Don't let them slip away from you just because you want to go to karate practice. You need to think about why you are on God's green earth. It better not be for karate. Look around at the people who love you. Live for them. And live for yourself too.
Yes, it is true that there is some nasty political stuff that goes on in karate. Personally, I am horrified to hear at the prices of having a “Japanese master” come and do a weekend seminar for a local karate club. I am offended when I hear that Shihan so-and-so was laughing to his buddies in Japan that he walked onto an airplane with his carry-on luggage full of cash like some kind of mobster or drug kingpin. I hate that crap. I know who some of these guys are and I'll be damned if I ever let them set a toenail inside a dojo I may run in Canada in the future.
As for becoming more and more corrupt the longer you train, I think that people can decide for themselves how they will be influenced by others. Just because someone is considered a leader, it doesn't mean that they are easily prone to corruption. In fact, they may be leaders as a reaction to the very corruption we ought to despise and resist.
It is true that some karate practice is not necessarily good for your body, and yes you should definitely supplement your karate with some other sport or training. You really might be training with someone who is kind of clueless about good karate training and how to take care of the body to avoid injury. Be careful, and get good information before proceeding in earnest. And yeah, it is true that if you learn how to spar you will probably get hurt. You might have to take a few shots on the chin before you figure some stuff out. So, you need to think about whether or not it is going to be worth it.
Yes, there are idiots who spout off in robotic fashion about the dojo kun, the ethical nature of samurai, bushido, and many other things they know nothing about. Karate sometimes provides an artificial environment where fantasy can take over. So be careful with who you choose as your teacher. Make sure that that person is good, mentally sound, and not recovering from high school Dungeons and Dragons flashbacks. It is just fine to have a “dojo culture” that is conducive to good training and discipline, but it is very important to but in context life during a karate lesson and the rest of the week when you go about your work and recreation with other members of society. There is a lot of interesting material about Japan, medieval societies, literature, fantasy fiction, and film. We just have to acknowledge where we live, and how we should relate to one another. Daydreams are great, and necessary, but we ought not to inflict them on one someone else as if they were reality. That is simply not the sign of a balanced psyche.
So, I guess you better quit.
Yep. I just summed up all the reasons why karate sucks so you had best just admit that you were a stupid loser to even start and go on with your life doing something different. Yoga might be nice. How about a nice game of squash? Tennis anyone?
I don't know about you but I am not going to quit. Maybe I am just stubborn, or stupid. Or maybe I see that there is something really valuable in doing karate that helps me be a better man. Maybe I am glad that I have learned how to really punch, block, and kick. Maybe I am glad that I am not as afraid as I used to be in conflict situations. Maybe I am glad that karate has made both my mind and body better disciplined, stronger, and better focussed. I am grateful for learning about how far I can be pushed. I am glad that I know how safe I really am in a violent world. I am glad to learn more about Japan, the Japanese culture, and Japanese karate. Those have been very rewarding and enriching things. I feel like my brain has been expanded.
Karate has been instrumental in me understanding what it means to be a man. Does that mean that I am exploding with machismo and testosterone? No, not really. But by doing karate I have discovered more and more of what it means to be a man, or at least my own man. I am not easily intimidated, and not easily goaded into conflict. I feel more balanced, more secure in my own identity, and able to see things with a little more clarity than before. I don't mean to say that I am better than any other man, but I think that I am better than the man I would have been if I had not done karate.
Karate is good for your body and your brain. But you have to seek out a good teacher and a good dojo with extreme seriousness. If your seniors and teachers are not building you up, helping you grow, teaching you, mentoring you, then they are taking something away from you. Karate is not neutral. It either builds or it destroys. It is not a luke-warm mistress or a tepid lover. It is not tentative or static. It is power, a kind of power that either has its pulse in the fibers of things that grow, or a fury that burns in a power that crushes and destroys.
Karate only sucks if you haven't met a good teacher. Karate is lousy only if you have had one bad experience after another, get wrapped up in issues that don't belong to you, permit yourself to be complicit in the fantasy worlds of other people, or train badly with inexperienced instructors. But I think that in such conditions we can substitute “karate” for any other sport that requires senior teachers, coaches, and organizations.
You've got to find your own way in this world, even more so in the karate world. Don't only look to instructors for pearls of wisdom and truth, but look at them simply like one person can look at another. You needn't build that person up beyond what is natural, nor strip everything away and see nothing of value. Sometimes the most impressive things about karate are the simplest. Karate is special in its extreme economy of movement and its maximum pay-off for the most minimal effort.
Keep you own karate simple, and your own standards for where you want karate to take you as clear as you can make them. You may find a jewel in a pile of crap, so scrub away at the stone. Let water wash the dirt away. Rub the stone with everything you got. Deep down you know that what you are doing, and all the work that comes with it will pay off. Keep going until that jewel shines like the sun. Then you will really have something strong, powerful, and beautiful right in the palm of your hand.
Good karate is out there, but now you have to go and find it.
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